"What Age were you when you stopped trying and didn't care what people think about your looks anymore?"

 Yep. Someone actually asked me that question a little while back. It wasn't a generalized question. It was definitely being asked of me, in the past tense, as if this has already taken place. It was someone I consider a friend and I have to say... It knocked the wind right out of my sails momentarily. I was a bit shocked, hurt, and suddenly VERY self conscious. My response was a very polite "I don't know. I'm not there yet."

In their defense, my appearance has changed and I have put on a considerable amount of weight over the past few years. But, I've never "stopped trying" and I'd be lying if I said that I don't care what others think about my appearance... I do! But, mostly it is because it makes ME feel good when I look good.


Do I look like I walked off the runway every day? No. But, I've always prided myself as being fashionable and somewhat put together. I haven't succumbed to sweats and baseball caps on a daily basis, nor do I wear moo moos, polyester stretch pants or house coats. I love to wear make up and do my hair in different styles, and I love dabbling in the latest trends in fashion. 

Does the cute pair of jeans and a top fit in the same way it used to? Nope. But it doesn't mean I'm not trying. I would love to go back to being able to walk into my closet and put on anything in there, knowing it would fit and look good on me without giving it another thought. Life was SO much easier back then! 

The reality is... I've gone through some serious physical shit in the past few years and it impacted pretty much every system in my body from head to toe. I'm working real hard to get back to a place that I am first and foremost healthy, but also comfortable in my own skin and feeling like "Me" again.

To the person that posed the above question... I hope to never find out.