18 Years Gone by...

This was the first time in 18 years that I let the anniversary of Janine's passing go by without posting about it publicly. Instead, I privately mourned, I cried, I reminisced, I laughed, and I prayed as I always allow myself to do this time of year, every year. The reason for my decision at the time was that I felt that I may be hurting others by remembering so publicly. Would it make her son and husband she left behind too sad? Would it make Lynn who has raised Jacob as her own and is a wonderful spouse and partner to Paul, feel uncomfortable? I didn't want to disrespect them and the beautiful life they have built together. I am so grateful that the 3 of them had found such happiness and love together. It is truly what Janine wanted.

But now... I feel awful because Janine deserves to be remembered, acknowledged and celebrated! She was a bright light in my life, even during my darkest hours, and I in hers. She was, and still remains my best friend and soul sister. Nothing will ever change that, including time.

My heart aches, but my face smiles remembering you.